Stew gets interviewed by Wendy

First of all, I thought it was only 1 question!!! No worries, all fair questions for a secret-blogger.

1) Where have you been?
MIA, I know. Lately I’ve been obsessed with current events. I love watching the weather channel, news channels, local news. Old fogey now for sure. On top of trying-to-be-the-best Dad to the best little girl (LG) in the whole wide world. LG is in potty-training right now, so it’s a little time consuming the way we’re doing it. We had our 1-year-home celebration , LG’s birthday party, other family celebrations and obligations, and I now do the daycare morning drop-off, so I don’t get the time to do “the Morning Stew.” And since I blog in secret, I don’t post at night!!

2) What made you decide to be a daddy-blogger in this world wide web full of mommy-bloggers?
We originally created a couple’s blog (is there actually such a thing?) during our wait, so as to keep family members and friends up-to-date on our progress. We started the blog after we after we were LID (November 2005). The blog had substance (information about the process – paperchase, DTC, LID, wait, wait some more, watch the numbers go down, longer times between referral batches, etc.), funnies (just goofy stuff we did to try to pass the time), shopping trips (to prepare for our baby), education – about adoption terminology, attachment process, etc. We took turns writing posts - about whatever was on our mind that day.

DW now maintains the family blog with LG updates, and now I secretly blog (Stew) about stuff I can’t put on the family blog. I think sharing some of my experiences and thoughts can help other adoptive parents or people close to adoptive parents. Especially if the the children are Asian. So I share. I don’t know if I have many readers, but I think putting by it out there, then at least the information can be shared / discussed.

3) What is the best advice you can give to a first time dad waiting to adopt from China?
Gee, this is a tough one. I’ve never been asked to give advice before. I think participating in your wife’s blog (since it’s mostly mommy-bloggers) is going to really help bring your two together during the wait. If you’re anything like us, she did most of the paper-chase and kept the timeline as short as possible, by making the Dr. appts., homestudy visits, CIS fingerprinting appts., etc. The clothes shopping, nursery accessories, etc., again – all her. RQ – and the CCAA updates – again , her. The blog – her.

BUT… if you a) read the blog, and b) tell her you’d like to make a guest post about something – that will really bring you two together during this patience-trying, stress-inducing time called ‘the wait.’ You think the 9-month (pregnancy) wait is tough (I don’t know because I’ve never done that wait)? Try the 8-9 month adoption wait that turned into a 20+ month wait. People you’ve seen get married, and have 1 or 2 kids, in the time you’ve been waiting?! And the questions about your adoption… are you sure you did all the paperwork right? …I know someone who’s adopting….. or … I know someone who adopted, and they didn’t wait THIS long… Sorry to say it, but NO ONE understands what you’re both going through except the rest of us! And so I blog.

4) How has becoming a father changed you as person?
Sounds corny, but becoming a father has Saved My Life. Nothing is more important (more on this below). Daily, I take time to live in the moment with LG. She is so (almost unbelievably) precious, we are constantly in awe over how we came together as a family. No words can describe this feeling. I couldn’t imagine it ANY other way. Sometimes I am late to work (I drop LG off at daycare in the morning), but it means nothing compared to the dancing to the Wiggles, or watching Choo-Choo (commuter train passing by) on the way to daycare, taking pictures of her eating oatmeal, or putting her hair in pony-tails. This is time I won’t ever get back. So I take it now. No apologies.

I am a Believer now. I’ve seen God at work. I listen to Him and look to his lessons for guidance during my time here on earth.

Probably some other ways I’ve changed too, but they seem like pretty small changes compared to those above.